I Don’t Want No Pigeons!

There’s this spot of free, wasted space in between where the roof over my house connects to the roof of my garage. I noticed what appeared to be a nest made out of straw pieces earlier today (and have been hearing weird noises coming from outside my house lately) and decided to take a peak. I got my 3-step ladder/stool, my broomstick and headed for the front yard. As soon as I approached “the spot”, I began to hear flippy floppy noises (you know, flippy floppy, like wings of a young mate strengthening his/her wings and learning to fly) and immediately inserted the broom’s end to force the nest apart and out of my free, wasted space spot.

After I got all of the pieces out (there were no eggs), I took a better look in the corner and noticed a gray spot balled up flush against the back corner. I pushed the broom gently into the back and some soft cries began to scream out. Aww! It’s a baby bird. I pulled the broom back and stepped down to adjust my spot (because I did not want a bird to fly out directly into my face) and, as I stepped back, I saw a pigeon glance out for a moment, do the chicken head twerk and then scurry back in. It was like he/she came out to say “This seat’s taken” or something. So, I get a better spot and begin to push the broom in some more. More cries !! I noticed what appeared to be a small pigeon and a bigger pigeon, balled up in the back.

Here I am, like the wicked witch of the west, with my broom stick in hand and I can’t manage to get them out. After some more poking and crying, I finally decided to give up and try calling the Las Vegas SPCA (702-873-7722). I was told that the animal control people would be the ones to assist me. After I dialed the number for the Las Vegas Animal Control (702-455-7710), I selected the appropriate number for my particular situation and was told via more voice recording to dial another number (702-229-6348). After I called, I heard more recording and selected my number. Finally, someone to talk to!

I told the lady about my situation and she informed me that I must call a pest man. I asked her if this was, indeed, the animal control and she said it was so, instead of getting MAD and being mean, I decided to play like Dr. Evil in Austin Powers and asked her to “throw me a fricking bone, here“. She admitted that they couldn’t help me and, here I am, still not wanting no pigeons. And, apparently, the Las Vegas Animal Control (or lack there of!!) does not want no pigeons either. I don’t know what to do!!!

ScottPot, it’s me, Scott (aka scottalk and BIG scott), not the Sporty Thieves/Thievez but, still, I don’t want no pigeons.

This story has nothing to do with this video. I, personally, do not like the words or the meaning behind the song but, it’s a good beat and it is darn relevant to my day. Don’t be offended, please, it’s truly not my point. enJOY!

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